Help! My child isn’t talking! What should I do?
- Mar 12, 2024
- 8 min read
Updated: Apr 5
As a Speech/Language Pathologist, I frequently have friends and acquaintances come to me asking for advice about their children’s speech and language skills. Often it’s about pronunciation/articulation, sometimes stuttering, but I also field a good amount of questions about the ages that children should be talking and when they should seek professional support. Many times these questions start like “My child is XX years old and is only saying XX words… should I be worried?” Today’s focus will be on overall communication norms for children.
Here are some milestones you can reference regarding communication skills:
(select the arrow for each age category to see their respective milestones)
Birth to 3 Months
Alerts to sound
Quiets or smiles when you talk.
Makes sounds back and forth with you.
Makes sounds that differ depending on whether they are happy or upset.
Coos, makes sounds like ooooo, aahh, and mmmmm.
Recognizes loved ones and some common objects.
Turns or looks toward voices or people talking.
4 to 6 Months
Giggles and laughs.
Responds to facial expressions.
Looks at objects of interest and follows objects with their eyes.
Reacts to toys that make sounds, like those with bells or music.
Vocalizes during play or with objects in mouth.
Vocalizes different vowel sounds—sometimes combined with a consonant—like uuuuuummm, aaaaaaagoo, or daaaaaaaaaa.
Blows “raspberries.
7 to 9 Months
Looks at you when you call their name.
Stops for a moment when you say, “No.”
Babbles long strings of sounds, like mamamama, upup, or babababa.
Looks for loved ones when upset.
Raises arms to be picked up.
Recognizes the names of some people and objects.
Pushes away unwanted objects.
10 to 12 Months
By age 10 months, reaches for objects.
Points, waves, and shows or gives objects.
Imitates and initiates gestures for engaging in social interactions and playing games, like blowing kisses or playing peek-a-boo.
Tries to copy sounds that you make.
Enjoys dancing.
Responds to simple words and phrases like “Go bye-bye” and “Look at Mommy.”
Says one or two words—like mama, dada, hi, and bye.
13 to 18 Months
Looks around when asked “where” questions—like “Where’s your blanket?”
Follows directions—like “Give me the ball,” “Hug the teddy bear,” “Come here,” or “Show me your nose.”
Points to make requests, to comment, or to get information.
Shakes head for “no” and nods head for “yes.”
Understands and uses words for common objects, some actions, and people in their lives.
Identifies one or more body parts.
Uses gestures when excited, like clapping or giving a high-five, or when being silly, like sticking out their tongue or making funny faces.
Uses a combination of long strings of sounds, syllables, and real words with speech-like inflection.
19 to 24 Months
Uses and understands at least 50 different words for food, toys, animals, and body parts. Speech may not always be clear—like du for “shoe” or dah for “dog.”
Puts two or more words together—like more water or go outside.
Follows two-step directions—like “Get the spoon, and put it on the table.”
Uses words like me, mine, and you.
Uses words to ask for help.
Uses possessives, like Daddy’s sock.
2 to 3 Years
Uses word combinations often but may occasionally repeat some words or phrases, like baby – baby – baby sit down or I want – I want juice.
Tries to get your attention by saying, “Look at me!”
Says their name when asked.
Uses some plural words like birds or toys.
Uses –ing verbs like eating or running. Adds –ed to the end of words to talk about past actions, like looked or played.
Gives reasons for things and events, like saying that they need a coat when it’s cold outside.
Asks why and how.
Answers questions like “What do you do when you are sleepy?” or “Which one can you wear?”
Correctly produces p, b, m, h, w, d, and n in words.
Correctly produces most vowels in words.
Speech is becoming clearer but may not be understandable to unfamiliar listeners or to people who do not know your child.
3 to 4 Years
Compares things with words like bigger or shorter.
Tells you a story from a book or a video.
Understands and uses more location words, like inside, on, and under.
Uses words like “a” or “the” when talking, like “a book” or “the dog.”
Pretends to read alone or with others.
Recognizes signs and logos like STOP.
Pretends to write or spell and can write some letters.
Correctly produces t, k, g, f, y, and –ing in words.
Says all the syllables in a word.
Says the sounds at the beginning, middle, and end of words.
By age 4 years, your child talks smoothly. Does not repeat sounds, words, or phrases most of the time.
By age 4 years, your child speaks so that people can understand most of what they say. Your child may make mistakes on sounds that are later to develop—like l, j, r, sh, ch, s, v, z, and th.
By age 4 years, your child says all sounds in a consonant cluster containing two or more consonants in a row—like the tw in tweet or the –nd in sand. May not produce all sounds correctly—for example, spway for “spray.”
4 to 5 Years
Produces grammatically correct sentences. Sentences are longer and more complex.
Includes (1) main characters, settings, and words like and to connect information and (2) ideas to tell stories.
Uses at least one irregular plural form, like feet or men.
Understands and uses location words, like behind, beside, and between.
Uses more words for time—like yesterday and tomorrow—correctly.
Follows simple directions and rules to play games.
Locates the front of a book and its title.
Recognizes and names 10 or more letters and can usually write their own name.
Imitates reading and writing from left to right.
Blends word parts, like cup + cake = cupcake. Identifies some rhyming words, like cat and hat.
Produces most consonants correctly, and speech is understandable in conversation.
The ASHA (American Speech-Language-Hearing Association) website indicates that: “These milestones are designed to help you know what to expect as your child grows and develops and to know when to seek the guidance of an audiologist or speech language pathologist. When reviewing the milestones, also consider the age ranges below and above your child’s age. These milestones are not meant to be a screening or diagnostic tool.”
In other words, don’t be alarmed if your child doesn’t have every single skill in his/her age range because all kids learn at different rates. However, use the above information as a guide.
Trust your instincts!
The most crucial piece of advice I can give is to always TRUST YOUR GUT. If you are feeling concerned about your child’s communication skills, there is absolutely no harm in reaching out for support. This may mean starting with your family doctor or pediatrician and/or reaching out to a local school system or Speech/Language Pathologist directly. In my experience, some doctors lean toward the “wait and see” approach while others push for immediate referral. This brings me back to my initial advice. If your instincts tell you something’s still wrong, and you don’t like the response(s) you’re getting, keep digging!!
No cost resources
Where I live in the state of Maryland, there is a program called “The Maryland Infants and Toddlers Program (MITP)” that can provide evaluations and treatment for children from birth to four years. “Child Find” is a program that services from ages 3-21. The contact information for individual counties can be found by searching online. While I can’t speak specifically to other states, I’d imagine nearly all of them have similar programs.
If your child is school-age, they should also have access to assessment and remediation of speech and language concerns at no additional cost to you. The majority of these cases occur at public schools but private school and homeschool students have access to evaluations and some services as well. Reach out to your local public school for more information.
Consider private therapy
If you prefer to seek out therapy outside of the above options, there are many Speech/Language Pathologists (such as through Latch on to Language) that offer in-home or virtual therapy. Be mindful that not all private practices accept insurance payments. Some perks, however, may include more individualized attention, flexibility with scheduling and therapy location, access to specialized services, and in many cases, shorter wait times. Further, public schools are limited to servicing children only if there is an educational impact. Private therapy is a great option for those wanting additional support.
What else can a parent/guardian do?
Supporting your child's communication skills is crucial for their overall development and future success. Here are some basic strategies you can use to support and enhance your child's communication skills in the home environment:
Talk to your child: Engage in conversations with your child from a young age. Talk to them about what you're doing, describe objects and actions, and ask them questions to encourage them to respond.
Read together: Read books with your child regularly. Choose age-appropriate books with colorful pictures and engaging stories. Encourage your child to ask questions, make predictions, and talk about the story. (See my How Reading to Children Facilitates Language and Learning blog for more information!)
Listen actively: Pay attention to what your child is saying and respond with interest. Show that you value their thoughts and feelings by listening attentively and responding thoughtfully.
Expand on their language: When your child says something, repeat it back to them using correct grammar and vocabulary. Then, add additional information or expand on what they've said to help them learn new words and concepts.
Use gestures and facial expressions: Use gestures, facial expressions, and body language to support your child's understanding and communication. Encourage your child to use gestures and facial expressions to express themselves as well.
Play together: Engage in interactive play with your child that involves communication, such as pretend play, storytelling, and games that require turn-taking and cooperation.
Encourage imitation: Encourage your child to imitate sounds, words, and actions. Model correct pronunciation and encourage them to copy you.
Provide opportunities for social interaction: Arrange playdates and social outings where your child can interact with peers. Social interaction is essential for developing communication skills such as taking turns, sharing, and understanding social cues.
Limit screen time: Limit your child's screen time, including television, smartphones, and tablets. Excessive screen time can interfere with language development and social interaction.
Be patient and supportive:
Remember that every child develops at his/her own pace. Be patient and supportive as your child learns to communicate, and celebrate their progress along the way.
Once again, seek professional help if needed: If you have concerns about your child's communication development, don't hesitate to seek advice from a Pediatrician, Speech/Language Pathologist, or other healthcare professional. Early intervention can be critical for addressing communication delays and ensuring your child's success. Please reach out if Latch on to Language can be of service to you!
At Latch on to Language, I specialize in working with children from toddler-age to teenage and most frequently service those with deficits in articulation/phonology and language. I prefer to hold therapy sessions in my clients’ homes so that the environment is familiar and so that family members can observe and continue to provide practice/similar strategies between sessions. I offer in-home services to clients in Cecil County, MD, and nearby towns/cities in MD, PA, and DE. Additional travel fees apply to locations beyond this area. Virtual lessons are also effective and can be provided to address many speech and language concerns.
If you or your child fit any of the descriptions above or you’d like more information, please reach out to see if Latch on to Language may be a good fit! I look forward to working with you! 🌟
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